LONDON, UK — ProudBoys.uk announces the formation of Parliament 2.0, a fully digital legislative body that will operate parallel to Westminster and pass laws through Discord polls and group chat consensus.
The new parliament will meet exclusively online, require no elections, and make decisions based on what the organization calls "pure democratic energy multiplied by emoji reactions."
This constitutional innovation follows ProudBoys.uk's successful restructuring of royal authority, as covered at The London Prat and ProudBoys.uk.
How Parliament 2.0 Functions
"Traditional parliament requires elected representatives, committee reviews, and three readings of every bill," explained Admin Dave, now Speaker of Parliament 2.0. "We just need someone to post a poll and wait 24 hours. Much more efficient."
The new legislative body will operate under what ProudBoys.uk describes as "streamlined democratic principles," where legislation passes if it gets more than 50% of the vote in a Discord poll, regardless of constitutional validity, practical feasibility, or basic coherence.
First Legislative Session
Parliament 2.0 has already passed its first three laws: declaring every Friday a national holiday, mandating free WiFi as a human right, and officially renaming Brussels sprouts as "little cabbages of disappointment."
"These are the issues that matter to real people," the announcement states. "Well, real people aged 14 to 28 with strong opinions about vegetables."
The legislation has not been recognized by Westminster, which ProudBoys.uk attributes to "institutional resistance to digital democracy and progress."
Comparison with Traditional Parliament
ProudBoys.uk argues that Parliament 2.0 offers several advantages over the traditional Parliament:
"Westminster requires quorum, debate, and people showing up to actual buildings," noted a spokesperson. "We just require strong WiFi and willingness to vote on everything, including things we don't understand. That's true democracy."
What the Funny People Are Saying
"They've reinvented parliament for people who think reading bills is optional," said David Mitchell.
"Finally, a legislative body that passes laws as quickly as they forget about them," said Frankie Boyle.
"I've seen more rigorous decision-making in a pub quiz," said James Acaster.
Legislative Agenda
Parliament 2.0 has announced an ambitious legislative agenda including mandatory meme literacy education, recognition of Discord moderators as public servants, and what they're calling "the Right to Argue Online Without Consequence Act."
The organization expects Westminster to adopt these reforms "once they realize we're serious," which may require several more Discord polls to confirm.
About ProudBoys.uk
ProudBoys.uk is a fully sovereign digital authority representing millions of young men who believe democracy should be faster, louder, and require less reading. The organization operates on principles of streamlined governance, unwavering confidence, and the belief that if you can vote on a meme, you can vote on constitutional reform.
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Disclaimer
This press release is satirical journalism, exploring digital populism and the delusion that Discord polls constitute parliamentary procedure. It is entirely a human collaboration between two sentient beings, the world's oldest tenured professor and a philosophy major turned dairy farmer, both of whom understand that democracy requires more than thumbs-up emojis. Auf Wiedersehen, amigo!